| ugh |
[Dec. 20th, 2003|10:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  restless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tchaikovsky:The Nutcracker | ] |
So I didn't really forget that this existed, i just haven't really been in one place long enough since the semester ended. My whole family is sick, not fun. I saw The Nutcracker last nite at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts. The Miami City Ballet did it. It was great. I think that's like my tenth year in a row or so, maybe more. :) I just love it. It's one of the holiday traditions i'll probably start with my own family.
I saw Return of the King on Wednesday. I really loved it. Those have been my favorite movies since Fellowship of the Ring came out. I'm not even gonna bother to try and pick a favorite of the three because they all have their great points and the whole story together is too awesome to choose a favorite part. I don't really care if my obssession makes me a little bit umm nerdy...lol. I can't help it. Legolas was beautiful as usual, Frodo and Sam needed a bath super extra bad but I still loved them, and Pippin sang! It was probably the highlight of the movie for me :) Ugh...can't say enough good stuff.
So I don't really know how i feel about being home. I've been going back and forth between here and Orlando, and I don't really mind being either place too much. Now, though, everyone here at home is out of school and there will be too much togetherness and that can get dangerous. We'll see. Not to mention they all have the flu so they're a lil touchy as it is.
This semester was probably my hardest one, considering I had my internship AND was putting together my voice recital AND took five classes besides interning AND was still active in SAI AND was still active in Chi Alpha AND co-led a bible study for the first time this semester....i'm just glad it's over. It was one of those semesters where i was spread so thin i feel like i gave about 25% to everything. Not a good feeling. But it's over now and i only have one semester left. I've been talking about it forever but i still can't really make myself believe that i'm actually graduating. I filled out my intent to graduate form and it was a pretty weird feeling. I'm graduating with a lot of my friends.....but i'm also leaving a lot of them behind. Suck. The hardest part of education is making friends you have to leave. I am the worst at keeping in touch. I just can't do it. I don't know what's wrong with me, I mean it's not as though I don't appreciate these people and love them a lot...i just don't keep in touch. I hate that.
More later but for now my back is hurting and i wanna just go read and try to relax...... :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2003|04:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Third Day: I've always loved you | ] |
So i'm feeling good. It's weird to know that i'm here, but no one knows it.....yet. Anyway, so I just finished making chicken fettucine alfredo, and if i can toot my own horn a lil;)....it's very yummy. While I was cooking my mom called and left me a message. She was watching the tape of my recital and told me she was really proud of me and i'm just such an amazing person. I wasn't feeling so amazing at the time, but that call definitely made me feel a little better. To be honest, I think that's the first time she's made a call like that.
I don't know why i'm feeling exceptionally lazy at this moment in time. I think my brain has turned off completely. I am just so glad this semester is over. When you're in the middle of it it just seems never ending...but then the end does come, and you're reminded once again....wow, I really HAVEN'T always lived like this.
I've been thinking lately...actually for about a year now...about writing a song. I've never done anything like that but i've secretly always wanted to. We'll see. I make up songs in my sleep. It's funny.
I miss....people... |
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| this is awesome!!! |
[Dec. 13th, 2003|12:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Casting Crowns- Who Am I | ] |
How excited am I? Yay! As soon as I got Erika's email I came online and registered. I don't really know how to do anything, but we'll see lol. I'm supposed to go home today. Ick. This whole Karen getting engaged thing is making going home a less than desirable prospect. Oh well. There are tons of thoughts running around upstairs right now. I can't even really make sense of them in my head, so transferring them to coherent, readable thought is not an option at this point. Some randomness though.....relationships, God, babies, school, teaching, music, job, friends, more than friends, truth, reality, passive, hungry. ugh. Sometimes I just totally feel like my life has been at a standstill for the last 6 years. Other friend's lives seem to change almost daily. I feel like moving, but have no direction. It's crazy. In the day to day I'm really happy. I love my God, my friends, my life, my goals, just about everything. Then there's this small part of me that's just discontent, wanting to change, move, grow, experience, and feels totally suffocated. I don't really know what to do about it. I've spent so much of my life repressing, shutting down, ignoring, running away. Now I don't want to, and I'm trying to change, with God's help, and ironically enough I'm fighting it almost every step of the way. Change is actually pretty painless. It's the preparation that hurts so much--the fear of the unknown that paralyzes me so often. If I'm really honest though, I've come a long way since I came to college. A LOOOONG way. You know, I babble way too much. It's my biggest problem lol...this should prove to be a most interesting venture.... |
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